HAVE YOU BEEN GUILTY OF THIS…..
There have been many many times in the past that I have said the words to myself.
“I am so fat.” “Urgh why did I eat so much, I feel fat.””Does this (insert clothing item) make me look fat?”
“I just smell or look at a brownie and I get fat.”
Not only are these incredible offensive to your psyche, you are also body shaming yourself.
You are telling your body, basically that being fat is bad. When you say do I look fat, which is always the first question that most people ask when they try on something new.
“Do I look fat?” has become the new “Do I look bad?”
Then usually, the person they’re asking would respond by saying something like “No, you look good.”
It’s sad really, because the word “fat” continues to be used as an insult when it’s really not.
Fat is not a bad word.
It’s society that has made us think that it is. There is this negative connotation that is set to it in our minds about that word, then sends a message to our subconscious and our subconscious will remember that every time, we criticize ourselves or if someone else criticizes you.
When you say, I am so fat and or I feel fat, communicates that you see actually being fat as an insult.
And plus, you will only come off as an attention seeker who’s looking for sympathy and extra compliments. Whether you are consciously or unconsciously think you are doing it.
So if you just had a huge meal and you feel full, or if you suddenly feel like you’ve gained a bit of weight, don’t use the word “fat” like it’s an insult. Now I am completely guilty of telling myself of some horrific, terrible, nasty, stuff.
And I have gone through years of reframing and retraining my brain to not use such words anymore. I was so hard on myself. I literally hated myself. I would look at myself in the mirror and say the harshest things to myself.
Things like “you are the most disgusting pig, you should just die.” “Why are you even living?”
I would beat on myself literally, as well as drown myself in pills and alcohol.
Now I also had these things said to me, YES to me.Things like…..”Stop saying you’re fat, you’re beautiful.” Whats wrong with that you may be wondering?
Here’s why its wrong…Fat is not a synonym for “ugly” or “unattractive.”
So if a person is feeling bigger than usual, or if they’ve gained a couple of pounds, saying something like this will only reinforce the idea that being fat is not beautiful. Other one…..”Do you really want to eat that much?”
This is just beyond rude.
The most ridiculous part is that people feel that they’re being helpful and considerate when they say this.
Well, newsflash: It’s not.
If a someone wants to eat a big portion of food, it’s because they’re hungry, so get over it. No one should have to starve themselves thin in order to impress others.
And other one…..”Did you lose some weight? You look SO much better!”
I had client that this has also happen too.
What it made her do it run and hide back in her shell. It actually had the opposite affect on her and she would immediately stop dieting and or trying to lose weight and go back to her old habits. This took a really long time to work through those limiting beliefs that she had placed on herself from others speaking to her in this manner.
This is like saying: “Hey! You looked so much uglier when you were fat. You should stay thin.”
And this, is just beyond offensive.
Even if the person means well and they’re trying to praise someone for their progress, it’s insulting to say that someone used to be unattractive or undesirable, all because of their size. Even if you didn’t mean it that way, that’s the way it’s perceived to the person.
This one was said to me a bunch of times…..”I don’t think that this( insert nothing item) was made for your body type.”
It’s so unfortunate that most clothing stores mainly cater to people who are very thin or on the thinner side.
The good news is, plus-sized fashion bloggers are starting to prove that they can break fashion rules and still look fabulous. And even though I am the size I am now I follow still quite a few on Instagram.
Because I celebrate all bodies all sizes!!
I celebrate beauty in all shapes and sizes.
Whether it is body/fat shaming ourselves or others, its still incredibly wrong and not the way we should be living our lives. We should be uplifting ourselves as well as others. We are all on this world together.
And studies have shown that by fat shaming another, it has no healthy benefits to it, it actually does the opposite.
So we should all check ourselves and watch not only the words we say to ourselves caused those have a long term affect on our psyche. And watch the words we say to others. Even if we think we are not saying anything wrong.
You have no idea the detriment you may be causing to another person by the words you say.
You have no idea the damage you could be doing by the words you say to someone that may already not be in the right state of being.
Everybody’s body is different.
Everybody deserves the right to be happy in the body that they are in.
Just as they are, just as they come.
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